This is an old favorite of mine—a song that has now appeared on three different albums in three different versions. It first appeared on the Lifelines album in 2008, a live version recorded at the North of Eden Retreat Center. Jeremiah McLane and I did a reggae-like version of it for the O Boss Man album in 2010, and this one is a solo acoustic studio rendition. It’s always fun to perform—plenty of tongue-in-cheek goofiness in the earlier verses, but it quickly cuts to the chase with some serious self-introspection. It comes from a dream in which Charlize Theron is indeed my girlfriend, with plenty to teach me, it seems, all about the ways I have avoided feeling and acting upon my passion, my heart’s desires.
Bob, April 2014
lyrics
Charlize Theron, would you be my girl
Your name’s a twister but I’d give it a whirl
I know it sounds a little crazy and all
I’m 5’10” shrinking, you’re probably tall
But that’s no reason to be freezing out the possibility
Of a little cosmic magic between you and me
Charlize, I’m older, I won’t tell you no lie
I’m mostly bald and got these droopy sad eyes
But in this dream I had, well, we were a pair
Of star-crossed lovers with nary a care
And since I’ve learned to trust my dreams, well, what do you say
Would you meet me out for coffee, how about later today
Charlize, honey, let’s cut right to the chase
This ain’t about you or your heavenly face
It’s rather all about my struggle to see
The things that I have done to circumvent me
And all this hiding in the shadows of just who I might be
If I open up my heart and what I want gets set free
Charlize, I’ve dampened everything I desire
A cold wet compress on the flames of my fire
Afraid of losing or rejection, it seems
I’ve never walked up to the girl of my dreams
And said, I’d like to dance with you now, if you please
Ah, that devil on my shoulder…She’s way out of your league
And that shoulder demon’s right now chirping at me
…Silly old dreamer, Hollywood wannabe
But I’m not buying it, no, not in this heart
Cause I’ve been to hell and back and earned this new start
And there ain’t no one gonna tell me I’m a minor league Joe
So I’m stepping up to this plate and it’s time for you to go
So, Charlize Theron, would you be my girl
Your name’s a twister but I’d give it a whirl
I know it sounds a little crazy and all
I’m 5’10” shrinking, you’re probably tall
But that’s no reason to be freezing out the possibility
Of a little cosmic magic between you and me
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