Feel My Dying Near

from by Bob and the Trubadors

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about

This is a song that is very important to all of us in the band. A short time ago we lost our dear friend and compadre in the dreamwork, Paul Cruickshanks. He was a brother to us, a gifted singer-songwriter, a regular in our Musicality classes (a North of Eden program which is all about stepping into vulnerability by way of music, using voice and song as a means of deepening the feeling component of the inner journey). Prior to his tragic death (from a fall at his camp in upstate New York), Paul had rededicated himself to his passion for music, was starting to write songs that spoke candidly and deeply of his inner work. One stunningly beautiful tune entitled “Waiting” emerged and he was excitedly working on another new song. I received an e-mail from Paul that he was headed to his camp for a few days, but wanted to get together upon his return to work on it together. That meeting never happened, and all that remained of Paul’s new song were clusters of handwritten lyrics that his wife, Jackie, found at the camp. So this is our version of Paul’s last song. Most of the lyrics are his, a few of them mine. Jer and I flushed out the melody and arrangement. Dedicated with love to our dear departed brother, Paul Cruickshanks….we feel your dying near!

Bob, April 2014

lyrics

This heart of mine, so hard to soften
Built these walls to hide my fear
Let my guard down, not too often
A man of means, a pioneer
Lifetimes younger, thought me stronger
Growing hunger yet unknown
I raced headlong through my maelstrom
Thought I’d make it through alone

Lay beside me and untie me
From these coils around my heart
I have fought you, never thought you
My salvation from the start

Now it seems there is no distance
From my fear and pain and me
And all my waiting now is over
Your storm will sweep me out to sea
And on the brink of all unknowing
Here where everything is clear
A blue-eyed pilgrim’s love song
Feel my dying near

So lay beside me and untie me
From these coils around my heart
I have fought you, never thought you
My salvation from the start

On the brink of all unknowing
Here where everything is clear
A blue-eyed pilgrim’s love song
Feel my dying near

credits

from Child Inside Be Heard, released May 6, 2014
Songwriters: Paul Cruickshanks/Bob Murray/Jeremiah McLane

Vocals: Bob Murray
Acoustic guitar: Bob Murray
Keyboard: Jim Goss
Accordion: Jeremiah McLane

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Bob and the Trubadors Montpelier, Vermont

Bob and the Trubadors offer up a fertile brew of original music, folk-based with shades of blues, jazz and world music.

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